I have a new niece!! Baby Lydia was born Friday, both Mom and baby are happy and healthy!
Lydia was born to my older brother and his wife. They have been married nearly 12 years and this is their first child. That compounded with the fact that this is the first baby in our family in 21 years (my nephews Kayden and Ethan joined our family when they were 4 and 2) and the first girl makes this pretty darn exciting!!!
My Dad is beside himself with joy. He couldn't get up there fast enough, he's now in WI ready to visit her tomorrow. I've seen a few pics and she is adorable. I'm not sure if they'd appreciate me posting pics so you'll just have to trust me that she is beautiful.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Diagnosis Part 2
This is part 2 of my account of the few days after we received Wayne's diagnosis.
Where did I leave off? Oh right, we scheduled surgery for April 8th at 7:45a.
Wayne had to go to work that day (Thursday) so I decided to sleep in and skip the gym. I called a few more people and spent most of the morning answering the phone as word was starting to spread. I also began my torrid love affair with google before heading to a meeting I already had scheduled with my BeautiControl director. So I used the 1 1/2 hr drive to make even more calls. In all these calls I made I got asked 3 questions
--how is Wayne? how are you? You're getting a 2nd opinion, right?
It's really weird because before this happened I would have expected to be a sobbing, vomiting, nauseous mess not being able to function at all. But it was quite different than that, I sobbed when I talked to my Dad, cried a little when I talked to Anna, teared up when I spoke to Vickie and my Mom and by the time I went to fitness class Wed afternoon my voice just cracked a little. In fact, I was doing so well that I got asked over and over if I was really okay.
I hadn't even thought about a 2nd opinion. Dr. McCoy and his staff were fantastic. They were very caring and thoughtful and I felt very comfortable with him doing the surgery. And quite honestly, we were already having to wait a month and the thought of having to wait any longer was absolutely terrifying. We really didn't know anything about the tumor, how fast it's growing or how aggressive the cancer is. Dr McCoy estimated that the tumor had been growing for about a year and it's 3.5 cm in diameter (about the size of a golf ball). After some research on google, I found out that any renal mass over 4 cm is typically considered as being stage II or III. I also found a lot of kidney cancer horror stories. I was more willing to take the risk of not getting a 2nd opinion than the risk of the tumor growing.
That night I got a terrible cold, lost my voice and thought that my head might possibly explode leaving a terrible mess.
On Friday (March 13th) I called a friend who had offered to call a friend of hers who is a Urologist at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics to let her know that we are considering a 2nd opinion so she called him and awaited a call back later that evening.
In the meantime, Wayne called UIHC and got an appointment with Dr. Joudi, a urology oncologist at the Comprehensive Cancer Center on March 23rd. That scared the hell out of me, a part of me was comforted by the fact that Dr McCoy didn't refer us to an oncologist. It helped me to believe him when he said that cancer doesn't always have to be a death sentence. However, it was now very real and very scary and it didn't help that I was sick and a little emotional.
When my friend called later that night after she had spoken to her friend she informed me that he said Wayne needs an oncologist, not a urologist and told her to write down this name. J-O-U-D-I. We couldn't believe it, it seemed to all be falling into place and seemed like we were doing the right thing but I couldn't shake the feeling that this whole process was going to take longer than we wanted.
So a couple weeks later we picked up the ct scan and x-rays and headed to the hospital to meet Dr. Joudi. We were in the waiting room for a long time. Sitting in that packed room was both depressing and comforting at the same time.
Depressing because there were a lot of people there. People that were once healthy, thriving, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, brothers and sisters that are now wearing headscarves and being helped to their seat by loved ones. How is it possible that this many people have to suffer.
Comforting because we were certainly not alone. We are not blazing a trail that hasn't been traveled. There have been many people before and those same people that saddened me are now giving me hope.
I'll never forget the conversation that I overheard while waiting to register. A 40-ish woman walked up to the scheduler and handed her some paperwork. The scheduler quickly scanned the paper and excitedly said "We don't have to see you for a year!" The woman smiled like a kid on Christmas morning and said "I know!!". They then embraced and as the woman walked away the scheduler said "I'm going to miss you, but I'm so happy for you!".
This calmed some of my fears a bit as I knew we were in good hands. These people seemed to be just as caring as Dr. McCoy's staff.
When we finally got called back, she just showed us a room and said "they" would be in to see us soon. We waited and waited and waited some more. After about 1/2 an hour a lady came in and asked if anyone had been in yet. She promptly left after we told her no and came back a couple minutes later and said "Dr. Nepple will be in soon".
I got really nervous and started talking a mile a minute. "What did she say? Dr. Nepple? We're supposed to see Dr. Joudi? Why isn't Dr. Joudi coming in? Where's Dr. Joudi? Who's Dr. Nepple?
And Internet, let me tell you what happens when I get nervous. I'm just going to say it, I have to pee a lot when I'm nervous. Some people smoke, some people twirl their hair or bite their nails, I pee. Truth be told, I drink a lot of water and visit the restroom a lot. My Grandpa used to call me the bathroom inspector because I always had to check them out. We were there for 3 hours and I visited the restroom 6 times. Actually the first time I talked to my Mom after diagnosis she said the first thing she thought was "thank God it's not Missy losing a kidney, she's already in the bathroom all the time!"
That was a long and invasive way of saying I was nervous. Dr. Nepple came in and explained that he was one of Dr. Joudi's residents and that he would be in later (Phew) and apologized for the delay but they were having a hard time loading the CD with the CT scan and were taking it down to Radiology to see if they could get it to load. He talked to us a little about statistics for Kidney Cancer. He really couldn't go into specifics because he didn't know what he was dealing with but he did pass on the risks of removing a kidney at such a young age.
He left and Wayne looked at me and said "We are not going to let him convince us to save the kidney". I agreed completely, we felt it was just safer to remove the kidney and the chance of it returning.
This is obviously not the end of this story. Part 3 is coming!
Where did I leave off? Oh right, we scheduled surgery for April 8th at 7:45a.
Wayne had to go to work that day (Thursday) so I decided to sleep in and skip the gym. I called a few more people and spent most of the morning answering the phone as word was starting to spread. I also began my torrid love affair with google before heading to a meeting I already had scheduled with my BeautiControl director. So I used the 1 1/2 hr drive to make even more calls. In all these calls I made I got asked 3 questions
--how is Wayne? how are you? You're getting a 2nd opinion, right?
It's really weird because before this happened I would have expected to be a sobbing, vomiting, nauseous mess not being able to function at all. But it was quite different than that, I sobbed when I talked to my Dad, cried a little when I talked to Anna, teared up when I spoke to Vickie and my Mom and by the time I went to fitness class Wed afternoon my voice just cracked a little. In fact, I was doing so well that I got asked over and over if I was really okay.
I hadn't even thought about a 2nd opinion. Dr. McCoy and his staff were fantastic. They were very caring and thoughtful and I felt very comfortable with him doing the surgery. And quite honestly, we were already having to wait a month and the thought of having to wait any longer was absolutely terrifying. We really didn't know anything about the tumor, how fast it's growing or how aggressive the cancer is. Dr McCoy estimated that the tumor had been growing for about a year and it's 3.5 cm in diameter (about the size of a golf ball). After some research on google, I found out that any renal mass over 4 cm is typically considered as being stage II or III. I also found a lot of kidney cancer horror stories. I was more willing to take the risk of not getting a 2nd opinion than the risk of the tumor growing.
That night I got a terrible cold, lost my voice and thought that my head might possibly explode leaving a terrible mess.
On Friday (March 13th) I called a friend who had offered to call a friend of hers who is a Urologist at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics to let her know that we are considering a 2nd opinion so she called him and awaited a call back later that evening.
In the meantime, Wayne called UIHC and got an appointment with Dr. Joudi, a urology oncologist at the Comprehensive Cancer Center on March 23rd. That scared the hell out of me, a part of me was comforted by the fact that Dr McCoy didn't refer us to an oncologist. It helped me to believe him when he said that cancer doesn't always have to be a death sentence. However, it was now very real and very scary and it didn't help that I was sick and a little emotional.
When my friend called later that night after she had spoken to her friend she informed me that he said Wayne needs an oncologist, not a urologist and told her to write down this name. J-O-U-D-I. We couldn't believe it, it seemed to all be falling into place and seemed like we were doing the right thing but I couldn't shake the feeling that this whole process was going to take longer than we wanted.
So a couple weeks later we picked up the ct scan and x-rays and headed to the hospital to meet Dr. Joudi. We were in the waiting room for a long time. Sitting in that packed room was both depressing and comforting at the same time.
Depressing because there were a lot of people there. People that were once healthy, thriving, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, brothers and sisters that are now wearing headscarves and being helped to their seat by loved ones. How is it possible that this many people have to suffer.
Comforting because we were certainly not alone. We are not blazing a trail that hasn't been traveled. There have been many people before and those same people that saddened me are now giving me hope.
I'll never forget the conversation that I overheard while waiting to register. A 40-ish woman walked up to the scheduler and handed her some paperwork. The scheduler quickly scanned the paper and excitedly said "We don't have to see you for a year!" The woman smiled like a kid on Christmas morning and said "I know!!". They then embraced and as the woman walked away the scheduler said "I'm going to miss you, but I'm so happy for you!".
This calmed some of my fears a bit as I knew we were in good hands. These people seemed to be just as caring as Dr. McCoy's staff.
When we finally got called back, she just showed us a room and said "they" would be in to see us soon. We waited and waited and waited some more. After about 1/2 an hour a lady came in and asked if anyone had been in yet. She promptly left after we told her no and came back a couple minutes later and said "Dr. Nepple will be in soon".
I got really nervous and started talking a mile a minute. "What did she say? Dr. Nepple? We're supposed to see Dr. Joudi? Why isn't Dr. Joudi coming in? Where's Dr. Joudi? Who's Dr. Nepple?
And Internet, let me tell you what happens when I get nervous. I'm just going to say it, I have to pee a lot when I'm nervous. Some people smoke, some people twirl their hair or bite their nails, I pee. Truth be told, I drink a lot of water and visit the restroom a lot. My Grandpa used to call me the bathroom inspector because I always had to check them out. We were there for 3 hours and I visited the restroom 6 times. Actually the first time I talked to my Mom after diagnosis she said the first thing she thought was "thank God it's not Missy losing a kidney, she's already in the bathroom all the time!"
That was a long and invasive way of saying I was nervous. Dr. Nepple came in and explained that he was one of Dr. Joudi's residents and that he would be in later (Phew) and apologized for the delay but they were having a hard time loading the CD with the CT scan and were taking it down to Radiology to see if they could get it to load. He talked to us a little about statistics for Kidney Cancer. He really couldn't go into specifics because he didn't know what he was dealing with but he did pass on the risks of removing a kidney at such a young age.
He left and Wayne looked at me and said "We are not going to let him convince us to save the kidney". I agreed completely, we felt it was just safer to remove the kidney and the chance of it returning.
This is obviously not the end of this story. Part 3 is coming!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Decisions, Decisions
I have asked several people for their opinions lately of various elements for the house. Not one of them said anything until it was done and then they said "ya know, I didn't think this was going to look right, but it looks great" or "I would NEVER think to put this color in a kitchen, but it looks good".
This has been said about everything, the wall color in the kitchen, living room, bedroom (I'm still not convinced about this one), the color of the cabinet in the bathroom, the light fixture in the kitchen. And has been said by everyone, my mom, my dad, Wayne, friends. I can't tell you how irritating this is. I am the most indecisive person on the planet. After I spent days staring at 3,000 paint samples and finally chose all the paint colors and bought 11 gallons of paint, I immediately had buyer's remorse and doubted at least 3 of the colors.
Would it have killed them to be honest and tell me they thought it would look like crap? Or would it have killed them to keep their big trap shut and let me think that they had confidence in me all along?
The one that bothers me most is Wayne. This is supposed to be our house right? The way I see it he should have two options.
Option a) Be completely involved with every single decision. By this I mean actually giving an opinion, not just saying "it's fine, let's go" or "uhhh" or ignoring me altogether. Maybe I should be more specific. When I ask which color we should go with, he could say something like "hmm.....that one's ok, but I like this one better" or "I think if we put that on the living room walls we'll be moving the color that we hated in the kitchen into the living room".
Option b) Continue to ignore what I'm saying and pretend that his hang nail is more interesting than anything I have to say. Then when it turns out nice, don't tell me that you thought I made a mistake and that it was going to look like crap.
This has been said about everything, the wall color in the kitchen, living room, bedroom (I'm still not convinced about this one), the color of the cabinet in the bathroom, the light fixture in the kitchen. And has been said by everyone, my mom, my dad, Wayne, friends. I can't tell you how irritating this is. I am the most indecisive person on the planet. After I spent days staring at 3,000 paint samples and finally chose all the paint colors and bought 11 gallons of paint, I immediately had buyer's remorse and doubted at least 3 of the colors.
Would it have killed them to be honest and tell me they thought it would look like crap? Or would it have killed them to keep their big trap shut and let me think that they had confidence in me all along?
The one that bothers me most is Wayne. This is supposed to be our house right? The way I see it he should have two options.
Option a) Be completely involved with every single decision. By this I mean actually giving an opinion, not just saying "it's fine, let's go" or "uhhh" or ignoring me altogether. Maybe I should be more specific. When I ask which color we should go with, he could say something like "hmm.....that one's ok, but I like this one better" or "I think if we put that on the living room walls we'll be moving the color that we hated in the kitchen into the living room".
Option b) Continue to ignore what I'm saying and pretend that his hang nail is more interesting than anything I have to say. Then when it turns out nice, don't tell me that you thought I made a mistake and that it was going to look like crap.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Patrick Swayze
I got a text from Vickie today that just said "Patrick Swayze died today". Of course I don't know him, but I was very sad. I really hoped he would beat it.
He died from Pancreatic Cancer 20 months after diagnosis. I'm sure the fact that he lived longer than most Pancreatic Cancer patients is of little comfort to his wife Lisa and their family.
He fought a hard and valiant battle against a terrible disease that continues to claim the lives of thousands every year. This absolutely has to stop. I will never understand how we can put a baboon heart in a human but can't figure out how to detect cancer before it's too late. There has got to be someone out there somewhere that can figure this out. I just hope that it's soon!
Please say a prayer for his family and friends.
He died from Pancreatic Cancer 20 months after diagnosis. I'm sure the fact that he lived longer than most Pancreatic Cancer patients is of little comfort to his wife Lisa and their family.
He fought a hard and valiant battle against a terrible disease that continues to claim the lives of thousands every year. This absolutely has to stop. I will never understand how we can put a baboon heart in a human but can't figure out how to detect cancer before it's too late. There has got to be someone out there somewhere that can figure this out. I just hope that it's soon!
Please say a prayer for his family and friends.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Things I've learned.......While Renovating
I've learned a lot the last few weeks while remodeling and preparing to move into our new house.
1) Primer is really hard to get off of your skin and fingernails. It's even harder to get out of you hair! We have had to prime every single surface we've painted.....sometimes 2 or 3 times. Primer is significantly more difficult to remove than paint. It's also hard to get off a dog's hindquarters. I'm not sure how it got there and I'm not sure how it's going to get off!
2) Flip Flops are not a suitable alternative for work boots when repairing a fence in an area where there's a natural spring after 12 hours of rain. I had my blue jeans rolled up mid-calf and still ended up with mud up to my knees under my pant legs.
3) Sunglasses are a suitable alternative to safety glasses.....during daylight hours. Before Wayne bought me a really cute pair of pink safety glasses I used my sunglasses when I sanded. I looked really silly, but I didn't get crap in my eyes.
4) The little metal ring thingie on a tool belt is for a hammer. I got tired of walking up and down the ladder every time I needed something so I put Wayne's tool belt on but I didn't know what the ring was for but I was awful thirsty. Yep, I put my water bottle in it. So picture this...Wayne walked in the front door and saw the tool belt with my water bottle in it and started laughing hysterically, then I peeked my head over the beam and he sees that I'm wearing my sunglasses and the dust mask. I thought he was going to fall over.
5) Painting sucks!
6) Painting 17 foot ceilings and walls really suck!
7) My Wooster Sherlock Roller Extender ROCKS!!! No really, I LOVE this thing. I was able to paint the 17 ft. ceiling without getting on a ladder once! I really thought painting the ceiling and walls in the living room were going to be a nightmare, but this made it fairly easy.
8) Everything takes at least 2 days longer than you originally expect.
9) Whining, crying, throwing yourself on the floor rarely works to convince your husband that your tired and must. go. home. now.
10) Apparently you can "contaminate" mud (aka drywall joint compound). I guess it really is possible to contaminate something called mud?!?
11) Mortar used to set ceramic tile is also called "mud".
12) My feet have been really swollen lately. I don't know if this has anything to do with the renovation or all the crap I've been eating, but they are so sore.
13) If Lincoln keeps barking every time the neighbor walks through his yard, there will be a "beagle for sale" sign in our yard!!
14) Both of our dogs have lost weight since we started taking them to the other house every day. I'm not sure if it's because they're able to run through the fenced yard or if it's because we forget to feed them regularly. Believe me, they're not starving but when I see Toby helping himself to a sleeve of saltine crackers I know they're pretty hungry.
15) Installing ceramic tile is simple in theory but is more labor intensive than trying to stuff a wet noodle up a tiger's nose.
16) Marriage counseling should be required when buying a house, especially if said house is going to be renovated.
17) There are many times in a marriage that you say "if we can get through this, we'll make it through anything". This year has really put that theory to the test, with the cancer, surgery and now the house. If we can make it through this year, we'll be just fine!
18) Repairing settling cracks in drywall seems daunting, but it's really quite easy.
19) I actually enjoy mudding. We had two entire walls that previously had paneling on them and were uneven. We consulted a painter and a couple people at the home improvement store and they suggested that we mud over the walls with joint compound to smooth it out. That was probably the most enjoyable experience of remodeling so far. And it was so rewarding, it's not perfect but definitely better than it was.
Friday, September 11, 2009
9/11
We all know what happened 8 years ago today. I've been told that it will be one of those things that this generation will say "I remember where I was when I heard the towers were hit". So I thought I'd share where I was and how I found out that day.
I was at work when the receptionist came around and said they just came on the radio and said that a plane just hit the World Trade Center kamikaze style. I didn't really know what that meant, none of us really understood what that meant. Pretty soon we heard that another plane hit and we ran to the training room where there was a TV. The TV was only ever used for training videos so we had to dig out the rabbit ears and fix them so we could see the picture. We got it working just in time to see all the fire trucks pull up and hundreds of firefighters run into the building. Minutes later the first tower fell with all those firefighters and thousands of civilians trapped inside. The New York Fire Department lost 343 that day.
As a side note, my Dad was a firefighter for many years. I can't even describe to you how I felt when I saw what happened next. The next thing we saw on the screen through all the dust and debris were two firefighters coming from opposite directions. They both dropped their equipment right there in the middle of the road, turned to each other and embraced. When I think about it, with all the chaos and confusion, there had to be more going on, but all I remember is seeing those two men on the screen. Everyone has a vision of 9/11, what you see in your mind when you think of that awful day, that is mine.
On this day of remembrance, please say a prayer for all the families still effected by this tragedy. Please also say a prayer for the men and women fighting for our freedom every day here and abroad. The world as we know it is made safer every day by firefighters, police officers, EMT's, Paramedics and those in the armed forces. Show them that you appreciate what they do.
I was at work when the receptionist came around and said they just came on the radio and said that a plane just hit the World Trade Center kamikaze style. I didn't really know what that meant, none of us really understood what that meant. Pretty soon we heard that another plane hit and we ran to the training room where there was a TV. The TV was only ever used for training videos so we had to dig out the rabbit ears and fix them so we could see the picture. We got it working just in time to see all the fire trucks pull up and hundreds of firefighters run into the building. Minutes later the first tower fell with all those firefighters and thousands of civilians trapped inside. The New York Fire Department lost 343 that day.
As a side note, my Dad was a firefighter for many years. I can't even describe to you how I felt when I saw what happened next. The next thing we saw on the screen through all the dust and debris were two firefighters coming from opposite directions. They both dropped their equipment right there in the middle of the road, turned to each other and embraced. When I think about it, with all the chaos and confusion, there had to be more going on, but all I remember is seeing those two men on the screen. Everyone has a vision of 9/11, what you see in your mind when you think of that awful day, that is mine.
On this day of remembrance, please say a prayer for all the families still effected by this tragedy. Please also say a prayer for the men and women fighting for our freedom every day here and abroad. The world as we know it is made safer every day by firefighters, police officers, EMT's, Paramedics and those in the armed forces. Show them that you appreciate what they do.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Diagnosis Part 1
It has been six months today since we first heard that Wayne had cancer. I've been meaning to write this whole story down before I forget so here it goes.
Friday March 5th I was on my way to Wisconsin to see Jake and Anna's new house for the first time. I was about half way there when Wayne called and said he was leaving work early to go to the Dr, he had a horrible pain in his right side. I told him if I turned around then I could be home around dinner time. He told me to keep going, that he would call me after the appt. The Dr. confirmed his suspicion that it was probably his gall bladder as it was too high for his appendix. She said just to take it easy over the weekend and ordered an ultrasound on Monday. After hearing this news I called my parents to let them know what's going on and make sure they could sit with him in case he needed surgery before I could get home. I knew it was unlikely but it made me feel better that there was a back up plan in place.
I made it home safely Sunday evening and we prepared to get up early Monday morning for the ultrasound. Shortly after we got home from the hospital, the Dr. called and said everything looked fine. She was concerned that Wayne was still having significant pain and ordered a CT scan the next day (Tuesday). So early Tues. morning we went back to the same lab we'd been the day before and waited. This test took considerably longer, when I saw Wayne come through the door I grabbed my purse and stood up. He came over and said we had to wait. I thought that was odd, but didn't think much more about it. At this point it's about 11a and the waiting room is packed. About 5 minutes later a receptionist handed Wayne a cordless phone and said it was the Dr. Then, in the middle of the jam-packed waiting room, she told him that they found a mass on his kidney, hopefully just a cyst, that could be putting pressure on the gall bladder. She was going to try to get an appt. with a urologist that day and told us to stick around in Iowa City just in case. A few minutes later she called back and told us the appt. is at 11:45a the next day (Wed). That was a little un-nerving that they would squeeze us in that soon and right at lunch time, but we tried to go about our day.
We didn't really even talk about it the rest of the day. We both knew what it could have been but didn't discuss it. We did decide not to tell anyone else until we knew for sure what was going on. We did end up inadvertently telling my cousin Vickie, but swore her to secrecy. The rest of the day was spent ignoring calls from my parents asking how Wayne was doing. I didn't want to lie to them, but I didn't want to worry them either.
We clearly weren't prepared for what we were about to hear in the Dr. office the next day. From the minute we walked in everyone was very nice. The nurse asked me how I was doing and before I could answer she nodded her head and said "as good as you can be, huh?" I thought that was odd but later I realized that she must have already known what we were about to be told. The Dr. came in and as he was doing a full exam he asked if we knew why we were there. Wayne said that we were told that there was a mass on the kidney, hopefully a cyst. Dr. McCoy just shook his head and said it is not a cyst, he said there is a 3.5 cm mass on the left kidney. 80% of kidney masses are malignant, he would put the odds for this one at about 95% given the presence of dead tissue around the tumor. Wayne said, "did you say left? The pain is on the right side." The Dr. said that yes it was the left and that it was by pure accident that we found it. Before discussing treatment options he wanted to get a chest X-Ray to make sure it hadn't metastasized to the lungs or chest cavity. In the last 90 seconds we've heard the words malignant, cancer and metastasized, three words you never want to hear in the first 10 minutes of meeting a new Dr. He then informed us that the chest X-Ray would be done right there in the office and we would discuss options TODAY. As scary as that thought was, I was incredibly grateful that we wouldn't have to go home not knowing what was going on.
As soon as Wayne left the room for the X-Ray I started tearing up. This is NOT supposed to be happening. The nurse came in to do something, I apologized as I wiped away tears. She was so sweet, she just patted me on the arm and said "it's okay honey, we see this all too often". Her kindness was appreciated, but her words were not comforting. At that very minute you don't really care about all the people that have been through this all you're focused on is that you're going through it and it sucks!
The Dr. came back in and said that the chest scan was clear (finally good news). He went on to tell us that it is most likely kidney cancer (KC). That is when it hit me, it felt like someone punched me in the gut while simultaneously sucking all the oxygen right out of the room. Hearing cancer and malignant were bad enough but actually hearing "kidney cancer" together is when it really sunk in. The only way to be sure is to take a biopsy which is not common practice with kidney masses because they're most likely cancerous so you just need to surgically remove them. He said there were two options: removing the whole kidney or just removing the tumor and part of the kidney. Because the location of the tumor being near the urine output and blood supply to the kidney, he called saving the kidney a heroic effort. He explained that there are two schools of thought about removing a whole kidney. The first is that he's so young (37) and removing an organ at this young age increases the risk of stressing the remaining kidney later in life. The other is that a transplant doc would see him as a perfect candidate to donate a kidney. I asked him what he would do if this were his wife, he said he would remove the whole kidney and not think twice about it. That was all we needed to hear, within about 5 minutes we had both made the decision to remove his left kidney. He told us that typically the treatment for kidney cancer is surgery. Most people go on to live normal lives without relapse when it's caught early enough (which he thinks it has been). Chemo and radiation have not been proven to work on renal masses. The scheduler had left for the day so we had to call back in the morning to schedule surgery.
When we left the office we knew some of the most difficult calls we've had to make were ahead of us. Since I had been ignoring my parent's calls for 24 hours I decided to call my Dad first. As we were pulling out of the Dr. office, I called my Dad. He answered the phone with "how's Wayne doing?" I started to cry (I'm actually crying right now), I told him that we were leaving the Urologist's office and that they had found what is most likely a cancerous tumor on his left (yes, that's right, left) kidney. My dad didn't say much of anything until I told him that we decided to remove his entire kidney. He said "oh, shit Missy". I think that's kind of the point when it sank in to everyone how serious this all was. When I said "most likely cancerous", they could maybe convince me that there's that chance that it isn't. But when I told them they're removing a vital organ, they suddenly realize, oh crap, they're not fooling around here. I sobbed the entire time I talked to him and asked him to tell Mom, I just couldn't handle the surprised gasp that was sure to follow this announcement from anyone right now.
We went home and as I was making lunch I called Anna. When she answered the phone, I said "how are you?". She said "how are you?". I knew right then that Dad had already called her. She said he was pretty upset and knew how hard it was for me to tell him so he went ahead and called everyone for me. She had already called Jake (my brother) and told him. Surprisingly, I cried very little while talking to Anna. Telling my Dad was the most I cried the whole time, I guess it was still sinking in. We spent the rest of the day on the phone. Wayne has 3 sisters and a brother in TX and his dad and step-mom had just moved to the Philippines. I was worried about telling his sisters, their Mom lost her battle with Multiple Myeloma 12 yrs ago when Sherry (the youngest) was just 16. I worried that this would bring back terrible memories for them. They're either really good liars or they took the news relatively well. Wayne's Dad however is a different story entirely. We talked to him on Skype and he was visibly upset and wiping tears from his eyes. I felt so bad that there was nothing we could do or say to comfort him. I think part of it was that he's so far away, he would have felt better if he were at least in the states and could drive up and see him if he wanted to. I felt completely helpless and powerless and I was right there. At 9:30 that night I was in bed and thought "oh crap, I forgot to call Grama". I called her and then went back to bed.
The next morning, much to my dismay this had not all been a nightmare. It was now our life. I called a couple more people and then the Dr's office to schedule the surgery. April 10th at 7:45a.
As most of you know the story does not end there....part 2 and maybe part 3 is coming.
Friday March 5th I was on my way to Wisconsin to see Jake and Anna's new house for the first time. I was about half way there when Wayne called and said he was leaving work early to go to the Dr, he had a horrible pain in his right side. I told him if I turned around then I could be home around dinner time. He told me to keep going, that he would call me after the appt. The Dr. confirmed his suspicion that it was probably his gall bladder as it was too high for his appendix. She said just to take it easy over the weekend and ordered an ultrasound on Monday. After hearing this news I called my parents to let them know what's going on and make sure they could sit with him in case he needed surgery before I could get home. I knew it was unlikely but it made me feel better that there was a back up plan in place.
I made it home safely Sunday evening and we prepared to get up early Monday morning for the ultrasound. Shortly after we got home from the hospital, the Dr. called and said everything looked fine. She was concerned that Wayne was still having significant pain and ordered a CT scan the next day (Tuesday). So early Tues. morning we went back to the same lab we'd been the day before and waited. This test took considerably longer, when I saw Wayne come through the door I grabbed my purse and stood up. He came over and said we had to wait. I thought that was odd, but didn't think much more about it. At this point it's about 11a and the waiting room is packed. About 5 minutes later a receptionist handed Wayne a cordless phone and said it was the Dr. Then, in the middle of the jam-packed waiting room, she told him that they found a mass on his kidney, hopefully just a cyst, that could be putting pressure on the gall bladder. She was going to try to get an appt. with a urologist that day and told us to stick around in Iowa City just in case. A few minutes later she called back and told us the appt. is at 11:45a the next day (Wed). That was a little un-nerving that they would squeeze us in that soon and right at lunch time, but we tried to go about our day.
We didn't really even talk about it the rest of the day. We both knew what it could have been but didn't discuss it. We did decide not to tell anyone else until we knew for sure what was going on. We did end up inadvertently telling my cousin Vickie, but swore her to secrecy. The rest of the day was spent ignoring calls from my parents asking how Wayne was doing. I didn't want to lie to them, but I didn't want to worry them either.
We clearly weren't prepared for what we were about to hear in the Dr. office the next day. From the minute we walked in everyone was very nice. The nurse asked me how I was doing and before I could answer she nodded her head and said "as good as you can be, huh?" I thought that was odd but later I realized that she must have already known what we were about to be told. The Dr. came in and as he was doing a full exam he asked if we knew why we were there. Wayne said that we were told that there was a mass on the kidney, hopefully a cyst. Dr. McCoy just shook his head and said it is not a cyst, he said there is a 3.5 cm mass on the left kidney. 80% of kidney masses are malignant, he would put the odds for this one at about 95% given the presence of dead tissue around the tumor. Wayne said, "did you say left? The pain is on the right side." The Dr. said that yes it was the left and that it was by pure accident that we found it. Before discussing treatment options he wanted to get a chest X-Ray to make sure it hadn't metastasized to the lungs or chest cavity. In the last 90 seconds we've heard the words malignant, cancer and metastasized, three words you never want to hear in the first 10 minutes of meeting a new Dr. He then informed us that the chest X-Ray would be done right there in the office and we would discuss options TODAY. As scary as that thought was, I was incredibly grateful that we wouldn't have to go home not knowing what was going on.
As soon as Wayne left the room for the X-Ray I started tearing up. This is NOT supposed to be happening. The nurse came in to do something, I apologized as I wiped away tears. She was so sweet, she just patted me on the arm and said "it's okay honey, we see this all too often". Her kindness was appreciated, but her words were not comforting. At that very minute you don't really care about all the people that have been through this all you're focused on is that you're going through it and it sucks!
The Dr. came back in and said that the chest scan was clear (finally good news). He went on to tell us that it is most likely kidney cancer (KC). That is when it hit me, it felt like someone punched me in the gut while simultaneously sucking all the oxygen right out of the room. Hearing cancer and malignant were bad enough but actually hearing "kidney cancer" together is when it really sunk in. The only way to be sure is to take a biopsy which is not common practice with kidney masses because they're most likely cancerous so you just need to surgically remove them. He said there were two options: removing the whole kidney or just removing the tumor and part of the kidney. Because the location of the tumor being near the urine output and blood supply to the kidney, he called saving the kidney a heroic effort. He explained that there are two schools of thought about removing a whole kidney. The first is that he's so young (37) and removing an organ at this young age increases the risk of stressing the remaining kidney later in life. The other is that a transplant doc would see him as a perfect candidate to donate a kidney. I asked him what he would do if this were his wife, he said he would remove the whole kidney and not think twice about it. That was all we needed to hear, within about 5 minutes we had both made the decision to remove his left kidney. He told us that typically the treatment for kidney cancer is surgery. Most people go on to live normal lives without relapse when it's caught early enough (which he thinks it has been). Chemo and radiation have not been proven to work on renal masses. The scheduler had left for the day so we had to call back in the morning to schedule surgery.
When we left the office we knew some of the most difficult calls we've had to make were ahead of us. Since I had been ignoring my parent's calls for 24 hours I decided to call my Dad first. As we were pulling out of the Dr. office, I called my Dad. He answered the phone with "how's Wayne doing?" I started to cry (I'm actually crying right now), I told him that we were leaving the Urologist's office and that they had found what is most likely a cancerous tumor on his left (yes, that's right, left) kidney. My dad didn't say much of anything until I told him that we decided to remove his entire kidney. He said "oh, shit Missy". I think that's kind of the point when it sank in to everyone how serious this all was. When I said "most likely cancerous", they could maybe convince me that there's that chance that it isn't. But when I told them they're removing a vital organ, they suddenly realize, oh crap, they're not fooling around here. I sobbed the entire time I talked to him and asked him to tell Mom, I just couldn't handle the surprised gasp that was sure to follow this announcement from anyone right now.
We went home and as I was making lunch I called Anna. When she answered the phone, I said "how are you?". She said "how are you?". I knew right then that Dad had already called her. She said he was pretty upset and knew how hard it was for me to tell him so he went ahead and called everyone for me. She had already called Jake (my brother) and told him. Surprisingly, I cried very little while talking to Anna. Telling my Dad was the most I cried the whole time, I guess it was still sinking in. We spent the rest of the day on the phone. Wayne has 3 sisters and a brother in TX and his dad and step-mom had just moved to the Philippines. I was worried about telling his sisters, their Mom lost her battle with Multiple Myeloma 12 yrs ago when Sherry (the youngest) was just 16. I worried that this would bring back terrible memories for them. They're either really good liars or they took the news relatively well. Wayne's Dad however is a different story entirely. We talked to him on Skype and he was visibly upset and wiping tears from his eyes. I felt so bad that there was nothing we could do or say to comfort him. I think part of it was that he's so far away, he would have felt better if he were at least in the states and could drive up and see him if he wanted to. I felt completely helpless and powerless and I was right there. At 9:30 that night I was in bed and thought "oh crap, I forgot to call Grama". I called her and then went back to bed.
The next morning, much to my dismay this had not all been a nightmare. It was now our life. I called a couple more people and then the Dr's office to schedule the surgery. April 10th at 7:45a.
As most of you know the story does not end there....part 2 and maybe part 3 is coming.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Listening to the Experts
You know we like to do everything by the book, right? Riiiiiiiight.
The experts say to paint the ceiling before the walls. What they don't say is you've got to be careful when you're painting above the cabinets near said ceiling. At least now we know what he'll look like when his hair turns white!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Cordless....Really!?
When I hear the word cordless I think of convenience......cordless phones, cordless power tools, something that's easy to pick up and take where you need it. I could think of many things that I'd like to see cordless such as a toaster so you don't have to find the right place on the counter for it near an outlet, the mixer and food processor for the same reason. However, I've never thought of major appliances as being "cordless".
We bought a new dryer in May and I was stunned when the guy asked if we wanted a cord. I'm thinking, "well if my magic wand was working I would have fixed the old one, so yes please I'd like a cord." I asked Wayne when we got in the car "what kind of idiot doesn't want a cord on their dryer?". He said "Well Melissa, (while rolling his eyes and using the "I'm talking to a 2 year old" tone) some people prefer to save money and use the cord from their old dryer."
Wait just a second.....Hold on....Back the truck up! We just had to pay extra for a cord.....for our ELECTRIC dryer!! Am I the only one that sees the irony in this. Seriously!? I just bought a cord for an electric dryer....because it didn't come with one attached. I'm only repeating myself because it's so stupid that I still don't believe it.
I'm sorry if this seems like something I should already know, but I didn't. There are reasons you get married. Some people get married because they've found their soul mate, can't live without the other person..blah, blah, blah... I got married so I don't have to take the trash out or do anything remotely mechanical. And he doesn't like cooking or doing the dishes so it's a win/win(I'm only partially kidding..hee hee)! I had to take the trash out after Wayne's surgery and I HATED every minute of it and whined (ok, I bitched and moaned incessantly to anyone who would listen) the entire time. And let's just face it, no one wants me doing anything mechanical.
How should I know that part of installing an electric appliance is attaching a cord. What's next? Are tires going to be optional when you buy a new car? Are blue jeans going to be sold without zippers? Shoes without laces? Coffee without a cup? One is not any good without the other.
Wednesday night we bought an electric stove for the new house. Earlier in the day I asked Wayne "so I suppose this new stove won't come with a stinkin' cord either (see, I do learn something every now and then)". He said "well no, but I think I've got one that will work." This launched another conversation about why appliances don't come with cords. He tried to explain it by saying that the plugs are actually different, some have 3 prongs, some have 4...blah, blah, blah. That's great, but they could at least sell it already attached to the stove. I don't even care if they chargea little extra for it, but they should give you an option. Just like the option for gas or electric, they should ask you what kind of cord you need.
This time when he asked if we needed a cord, Wayne said that we were going to use the one we had and the guy then informed us that if we choose to use a cord we already have and have the stove delivered they will not attach our "used" cord to the new stove for liability purposes. So basically they have free delivery but won't be able to deliver to our area until Saturday and we don't have to buy a cord but if we don't they won't attach the other one when they finally get around to delivering it 4 days from now.
This just completely floored me. It's almost as bad as Wayne ordering Iced Tea the other day and receiving a glass of tea with no ice! I'm totally not kidding, and they blamed it on the server being new. Apparently they don't teach you to put ice in Iced Tea until the 2nd day.
Anyway we chose to take the stove with us that night and installed it yesterday. It looks great!! I'll post pics soon.
We bought a new dryer in May and I was stunned when the guy asked if we wanted a cord. I'm thinking, "well if my magic wand was working I would have fixed the old one, so yes please I'd like a cord." I asked Wayne when we got in the car "what kind of idiot doesn't want a cord on their dryer?". He said "Well Melissa, (while rolling his eyes and using the "I'm talking to a 2 year old" tone) some people prefer to save money and use the cord from their old dryer."
Wait just a second.....Hold on....Back the truck up! We just had to pay extra for a cord.....for our ELECTRIC dryer!! Am I the only one that sees the irony in this. Seriously!? I just bought a cord for an electric dryer....because it didn't come with one attached. I'm only repeating myself because it's so stupid that I still don't believe it.
I'm sorry if this seems like something I should already know, but I didn't. There are reasons you get married. Some people get married because they've found their soul mate, can't live without the other person..blah, blah, blah... I got married so I don't have to take the trash out or do anything remotely mechanical. And he doesn't like cooking or doing the dishes so it's a win/win(I'm only partially kidding..hee hee)! I had to take the trash out after Wayne's surgery and I HATED every minute of it and whined (ok, I bitched and moaned incessantly to anyone who would listen) the entire time. And let's just face it, no one wants me doing anything mechanical.
How should I know that part of installing an electric appliance is attaching a cord. What's next? Are tires going to be optional when you buy a new car? Are blue jeans going to be sold without zippers? Shoes without laces? Coffee without a cup? One is not any good without the other.
Wednesday night we bought an electric stove for the new house. Earlier in the day I asked Wayne "so I suppose this new stove won't come with a stinkin' cord either (see, I do learn something every now and then)". He said "well no, but I think I've got one that will work." This launched another conversation about why appliances don't come with cords. He tried to explain it by saying that the plugs are actually different, some have 3 prongs, some have 4...blah, blah, blah. That's great, but they could at least sell it already attached to the stove. I don't even care if they chargea little extra for it, but they should give you an option. Just like the option for gas or electric, they should ask you what kind of cord you need.
This time when he asked if we needed a cord, Wayne said that we were going to use the one we had and the guy then informed us that if we choose to use a cord we already have and have the stove delivered they will not attach our "used" cord to the new stove for liability purposes. So basically they have free delivery but won't be able to deliver to our area until Saturday and we don't have to buy a cord but if we don't they won't attach the other one when they finally get around to delivering it 4 days from now.
This just completely floored me. It's almost as bad as Wayne ordering Iced Tea the other day and receiving a glass of tea with no ice! I'm totally not kidding, and they blamed it on the server being new. Apparently they don't teach you to put ice in Iced Tea until the 2nd day.
Anyway we chose to take the stove with us that night and installed it yesterday. It looks great!! I'll post pics soon.
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