By The Numbers

We've been very busy the last few weeks. Instead of boring you with all the details, I thought I'd just give you the highlights by the numbers.



6----------weeks spent preparing for the yard sale

16---------hours the yard sale was open

1/2--------amount of stuff we got rid of

4----------inch long gash in my leg from carrying a metal shelving unit down the stairs

21---------days we've been homeowners

28--------times we've been to Menard's (local home improvement store)

1----------old lady almost ran me over in Menard's parking lot

2----------cashiers that made me so mad I almost cried

2----------number of times someone (not naming names) burned his/her ear while straightening his/her hair

2----------number of shirts with blood on them because his/her ear started randomly bleeding.

2----------number of times Wayne got bit by a cat

1----------number of times Wayne got bit that he deserved

2----------tetanus shots possibly needed in our house


1----------tetanus shots actually administered

28,800---Number of seconds I spent scraping wallpaper in the kitchen (aka 8 hrs)

300-------seconds it took me to figure that out

345-------number of not-so-nice words I mumbled about the previous owners for hanging so much damn wallpaper

4.5--------pounds of wallpaper scraps remaining of the 3 entire walls of wallpaper in the kitchen. Yes, I actually kept it in a trash can separate from the other trash then brought it home and weighed it.

4----------number of times I cried while removing the wallpaper

27---------bruises on the back of my arms from scraping the wallpaper above the cabinets

4----------number of people I told that Wayne gave me those bruises because I woke him up early :)

7----------different shades of pink in the main floor bathroom. I'll post pics later, but the toilet, sink and tub are pink accented with obnoxious pink paint on the walls and hot pink toilet seat.

11---------gallons of paint

6----------number of times I doubted the color of the bedroom. Really, it looks like something that comes out of a newborn's diaper.

6----------days spent painting so far

1----------room completely painted

3----------toes completely covered in paint at any given time

7----------fingers covered in paint right now

5----------times that I've washed my hair with no success of getting the paint out. If you see me, I don't need my hair dyed it's just paint! If anyone has any ideas not involving turpentine or shaving my head, please let me know.

41--------years the previous owner spent cultivating, weeding, planting and watering the very large garden and landscaping

10--------months until I have undone all of her hard work. Not that I don't appreciate or like it, I just lack the skill and patience to keep it up. I'm going to give it a shot though!

7---------number of "jelly bean" plants we have. The neighbor said they're Jack in the Pulpits, but they look like Jelly Bellys.

3---------number of neighbors that upon meeting us handed us keys to our house! It is apparently a close-knit community. The previous owner was an older lady whose children lived out of town, so the neighbors really looked after her. It's good to know that they care that much.

4----------meals I've actually cooked in the last 3 weeks. I actually had to dust my stove.

9----------avg number of hours spent in the home we're living in each day

5-6-------average hours of sleep per night that I'm getting. Those of you with children are probably wondering what I'm complaining about, but I can just not function on such little sleep.

10---------times I've sat down to write this post but was just too tired

Well, there's a recap of our first 3 weeks as homeowners.

Holy Cat Bite, Batman

We've had a crazy week, but the last couple days have really taken the cake.

While doing the yard sale last weekend Vickie and I found a stray kitten hanging around the house. We caught it once but it looked like she was going to bite me so I put it down. Apparently Wayne didn't think that was the way to go. She's been in the garage for the last few days and will not leave. Yesterday morning when I woke up I saw the peroxide and band-aids on the bathroom counter. When I asked him what happened he said "that damn cat bit me". I looked at it but it seemed okay so we went about our day.

It was swollen all day but we kept peroxide on it and weren't too worried about it until 5p. At that point it was red and really puffy so we took him to the local Urgent Care facility. That is easier said than done. As soon as he told them it was an animal bite they said that the police needed to be called and file a bite report. He was back in the office for a while and when he emerged he was holding a bio-hazard bag and had a bandage on his arm. The Dr. wanted to see what kind of infection it was so she cut the wound open, took a sample and now we had to take it to the lab. Don't they have a service to do that? Why do we have to do it? At 8p? Little did I know that was going to be the least strange thing about this situation. The Dr. also said that you shouldn't put peroxide on an animal bite because you're basically adding oxygen to it therefore feeding the infection. So by putting peroxide on it a few times we were actually making it worse........who knew?

So we picked up a very strong anti-biotic, dropped off the "sample" and got something to eat. On our way home, the sheriff's deputy called and informed us that we had to catch the cat then find a vet that will quarantine it for 10-14 days. I told him we'd try to catch the cat when we got home and wait for his call in the morning.

We argued for a few minutes about who should catch the cat. Wayne didn't want to go anywhere near it because he wasn't sure he could control himself if he got his hands on it. I thought that he should be the one catching it because....well.......he's already been bitten....and on meds. Why should both of us suffer, right? Unfortunately, he didn't see it that way so I suited up and began "huntin' kitties" in the garage. Suiting up meant that I had to find the proper gloves. Wayne said I needed the welding gloves. I said "where are they?". "In the garage....in the other house", said. Since he was not helping I had to make due with what we had. So I did what anyone would do, I pulled out every pair of gloves we own to found the right combination--one pair of rubber gardening gloves, one pair of work gloves and one pair of Wayne's fleece winter gloves. I could barely move my fingers and looked really stupid, but let's face it I'm used to that by now. If we hadn't sold the catcher's mask in the yard sale I would have worn that too! Wayne was so irritated and tired at this point that he wasn't really helping me at all. He was just sitting there pointing out everything that I'm not doing right and I'm all "excuse me if you're such an expert at wrangling kitties, why the hell did you get bit in the first place, Mr. Smarty Pants!" Twenty minutes of crawling around the garage floor and several arguments later I finally caught the darn cat. And the gloves? I'm proud to report that they worked!! I could feel that she was biting me but she did not bite through!! We put her in the kennel, gave her some food and water and went to bed for the night.

Wayne had a hard time sleeping last night, by midnight his whole arm hurt and his hand was even more swollen. I think he finally got to sleep just in time to get up to go to work.

I called our vet's office this morning to ask if they quarantine stray animals that have bitten. She gave me two options, they could quarantine for 10 days at which point we would have to figure out what to do with her. OR, and this is a big or....they could euthanize the cat, remove the head and.......wait for it....wait for it........we would then drive it about 20 miles to the lab to test for Rabies. Yes, you read that right. They are suggesting that we transport a dead cat's head in our car. 20 miles away. And I thought transporting a sample of the infection was weird. This is beyond weird. This borderlines on sadistic. Many things came to mind when she said this. 1) Huh? What? Are you smoking crack? Is there a gas leak in the building? 2) What happens if I get pulled over? 3) OMG, they want me to put a dead cat's head in. my. car.

I called our Dr. office and asked if Wayne would be alright if we found out in 9 or 10 days that the cat was sick. They said that if infected Wayne wouldn't start exhibiting symptoms for 2-3 weeks and concurred with the vet's office about testing the brain, but were also shocked at what they were asking us to do. At this point, I'm pinching myself to see if I'm actually awake and really considering driving a dead cat's head. 20 miles away. in. my. car.

This has brought on a very difficult decision, one that I am not taking lightly. I am a bit of a sucker when it comes to animals. We have 2 dogs, 2 cats inside and 2 cats outside and we only bought the one dog. All the rest of them have found us and I couldn't bear to get rid of them. I consider us to be fairly responsible pet owners, we have spayed and neutered all of our pets, including the outside cats. I have basically been completely worthless today trying to figure this out.

After much thought and consideration we have made the decision to euthanize the cat so we can find out immediately if we need to start Rabies vaccinations for Wayne. For those of you that are wondering why we don't just have Wayne do the shots and keep the cat you should know that he has been through them 6 yrs ago and they were no picnic. Yep, he was bitten by a cat 6 yrs ago and had to go through the entire series of Rabies shots because the cat may or may not have had contact with a bat (that we found in our bedroom at 3am!! More about that later, I promise) then took off and we never found it.

You know when you take your dog to get shots and they're really tired and lethargic the rest of the day. Well, it was like that. every week or two. for several months. And we didn't even get his Rabies tags in the mail like we did for the dog! What's that about!! We just decided that with all we've been through this year with the cancer and surgery we need some peace of mind. When it's all said and done my husband is more important to me than a cat.

Please do not send me hate mail for making the decision that we have. We really had to do what was right for us and as much as it pains me to say this that means doing the unthinkable.

This Old House Part 1

We are currently renting a big, old farmhouse. Wayne moved here in August 2001, I moved in about a year later. This is the first in a two part series about what we will and will not miss about this house as we work very hard to prepare our new house to move in.

What we will not miss about this old house

• The old plaster walls that crumble like day old bread when you try to hang a picture.
• The lack of storage space. Our bedroom is not technically a bedroom so there is no closet, we use an armoire. There's only one wall of cabinets in the kitchen forcing us to store extra paper towels, toilet paper and some canned goods in the garage. Not convenient but effective.
• The little gray adaptor thingies (I'm pretty sure that's the technical term) we have to use in every outlet to convert it from two-prong to three-prong. Some of the outlets in the new house are upside down but they have 3 prongs!!!
• The farmers flying in and out of our driveway with no regard to those who actually live here.
• The farmers plowing the fields at 7a on a Sunday!!!
• The garage door that won't open in the winter.
• Police pulling people over in our driveway getting the dogs all worked up. We live right off of a highway so this happens often. It's actually happening right now! It's not too bad at 11a but when it happens at 2a is another thing entirely!!
• People knocking on our door at all hours of the day or night because they broke down on the aforementioned highway and need help. Last winter a woman slid off the road and into our yard taking out our mailbox in the process. I felt bad for her and offered her to stay in the house until she got things taken care of but her kids were still sleeping in the car so I gave her some blankets and sweatshirts and Wayne helped her get her car out.
• I don't really even know what it means, but I am soooooo excited to have 200 amp service. My husband told me technically what it means but all I heard was that I can use the microwave and the space heater at the same time. And that makes me want to do back flips but I bruise like a peach so I won't.
• The dungeon they call a basement. The new house has a finished basement. It's ugly, but it's finished!!
• The new house sits on a less traveled road, so I'll be able to just walk out the door and run without having to drive to a safer area.
• Not having to drive 20 minutes to the grocery store.
• The one corner of the kitchen that can only house a table because there are no outlets. If I need to use my mixer I have to use an extension cord strung across the floor.
• Having to use window air conditioners.
• Having to keep the dogs tied up in the yard. The new house has a completely fenced in yard and they LOVE it!!
• Not having heat ducts in every room. There are three bedrooms upstairs in this house (which we only use as storage) and only two of them have heat.
• The one and only bathroom. A lot of the things on this list are convenience or cosmetic issues, this one is CRUCIAL. Having more than one bathroom was first on our list of our must-haves and the one thing that neither of us would budge on. We only have to get ready at the same time once or twice a month, but when we do it is pure HELL. It ranks right up there with getting your fingernails ripped out one at a time while simultaneously having your toes gnawed on by a rabid dog. I truly believe that having more than one bathroom is going to save our marriage.

Now I'm going to enjoy the rest of my "free" day. I've spent the last three days dealing with the yard sale and will continue to rip down wallpaper tomorrow. Part 2 will follow soon.

Finally, I'm excited!

It's official. We closed on our very first home last Friday.

We've been casually looking at houses for several years, but never really found one that we had to have. Once we found "the one" things moved very quickly and I got very overwhelmed. I would rather be shot. several times. at close range. and then dragged behind a car for several miles than go through the offer/negotiation process again. This may be a surprise to some of you, but I am a control freak and that process was just too far out of my control for my comfort. I mean this is our home we're talking about and it's hinging on someone wanting top dollar for a house that meant a lot to their late parents but hasn't been decorated in 41 years. That's right, 41 years!

Once they accepted our offer, we got the inspection report and had to negotiate all over again. Then again after we got the radon inspection back. During this whole time, people kept asking "are you excited, that's so exciting!" I tried to be polite but I'm thinking...excited, no I'm not excited. I'm so nervous I can't sleep and so stressed that I've got hives on the back of my neck and look like the creature from the black lagoon and my hair is so short that I can't even hide it! That is not exciting!!

I'm also very superstitious, I was afraid if I told too many people that I would jinx it and the deal would fall through. It all seemed to be going so smoothly that I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. The day before closing I did the final walk through and there were things on the counter for us. The realtor said she'd let me open them and handed them to me. I refused to open them because it wasn't our house yet and the whole world just might implode if I open something addressed to "homeowner" before it's actually ours. I'm sure she thought I was nuts, but she humored me. Later that evening, I was on the phone with Anna (my soon-to-be sister-in-law) and told her that I did the final walk through. She couldn't believe that we didn't do it the day of closing....um....that would be because we close at 9a. Then she said the two words that make me completely neurotic and get my imagination running wild......."what if"......Now it doesn't take much to get me freaked out but this will do it and it doesn't even matter what follows those two little words. But in this case it was "what if it burns down overnight". Way to go Anna, now you've hit on my neurotic tendencies and my totally unnatural fear of fire. So after a night of dreams that our house burned to the ground, we drove by it the next morning just to make sure it was still standing. Of course it was, so we continued on to the bank.

I had no idea what to expect at closing, but after the nerve-wracking month leading up to it I felt that it was pretty anti-climactic. Apparently we're pretty fast signers, (yep, one more thing to add to our list of achievements) we had to wait about 15 minutes for the seller's realtor to show up. Then he signed a couple things, asked questions and handed us the keys. Then we shook hands about 14 times and they opened the door. Really, it's over. Where's the confetti, the balloons, the streamers, the music?!?! There was none of that, we shook hands and left.

I don't think it has hit us yet. Even though we are now beginning to "rip out the ugly" it still doesn't feel like it's ours. But, I am finally excited!!