Be Careful, It Might Come Back to Bite You

It's no secret that Wayne is a VERY HEAVY sleeper. I often have to let him know that his alarm is going off. The conversation goes something like this.

**This is a dramatization of several conversations over a period of time**

Alarm goes off singing some crazy song
Me-Honey, your alarm is going off
Wayne-uhhhhhh (hitting snooze)
Alarm goes off
Me-Wayne, it's time to get up (tapping him gently)
Wayne-uhhhhhh (rolling over and putting the pillow over his head)
Alarm goes off again...
Me-Wayne, COME ON your alarm has been going off for a half hour
Wayne-I'm not ready yet (hitting snooze once again)
Me-I don't care. GET. UP. RIGHT. NOW. (kicking him)
Alarm goes off yet again
Me-Seriously, you HAVE to get up now
Wayne-fine
Me-If you're awake turn the alarm off
Wayne-No, this is a good song
Me-UGHHHH!

So this morning my alarm went off. The conversation went like this

**This is an actual conversation**

My alarm goes off
I hit snooze and roll over
My alarm goes off again
I don't turn it off right away
Wayne-Are you gonna turn it off?
Me-No, this is a good song

It really was a good song!

How Time Flies

It has been 12 weeks today since Wayne's surgery. I'm not going to say we were having fun, but time has flown!

It seems like just yesterday we were sitting in the pre-op area nervously awaiting an operating room to become available. Dr after Dr, nurse after nurse checking his blood pressure, taking blood and asking for the same info, name, birthdate, why are you here (we're gonna let them cut him open and they're asking us why!?), do you have any questions?

I had just one question, we're sure it's the left kidney right? The resident that was in the room at the time was very nice, he just laughed and pulled up the CT scan and showed us that it was in fact the left kidney. Better safe than sorry!!

Then they took him to get the epidural and I went to the Surgical waiting area. This is a huge area that is separated into several cubicle-type areas. Surgery was supposed to start at 11:45a so when I saw Dr. Joudi come in the waiting room at 12:30, I panicked (it was waaaaaay too early for him to be talking to me). He recognized me and waved me over. It turned out that he was there to talk to the family of his first patient but he wanted me to know that he saw Wayne, he had the epidural and they were just waiting on a room. Phew.....

About an hour later they told me that it was going to be another 3 hrs and that I could go sit with him. I did, but he was pretty agitated. He hadn't eaten solid food for 36 hrs at that point and not even a sip of water for 6 hrs. He kept asking me if I had a cheeseburger or hot dog in my purse. They hadn't hooked anything up to the epidural or IV yet, but he seemed pretty drowsy already. At about 3:00 I had to say good bye and head back to the waiting room again.

At 3:50p the nurse called to say they were just starting the surgery. At 6p we (me, my parents, my Aunt, my cousin Vickie, and Chad and Kari Seams) had to pack up and go to a different waiting room. Then at 6:45 the OR called and said that they were able to do the partial (YAY!!), that they were finishing up and Dr. Joudi would be down to see me soon.

I was so relieved when I saw Dr. Joudi at 7:45p. He gave me all the specifics of the surgery. Vickie said it looked like a 20 lb weight was lifted off my shoulders when he said that everything went well. She said I didn't even flinch when he said that it was kidney cancer. I was ready for it, I had myself prepared for that.

I was quite upset that they wouldn't let me see him in Recovery. Mom, my Aunt and Vickie went downstairs and got us the finest assortment of fried food the cafeteria had to offer at 8:15p and we waited again. I was just about to find a nurse and ask about him when they came in at 10p to tell me he was in his room.....his "semi-private" room.

There's nothing remotely private about those rooms!! When his roommate was awake, I could hear him barking orders at the nurses. When he was asleep he either snored like a chainsaw or talked in his sleep.

That first night was really rough. Because he was out for so long and the rest of his body wasn't "awake" yet they wouldn't let him have any water or even a swab to wet his mouth. Every time he woke up he would ask me for water. I was "laying down" on two chairs facing each other with my water bottle hidden behind the curtains.

They were concerned about Wayne's blood pressure all night. It was dipping pretty low, the lowest was 78/50. I've told everyone(even Wayne) that the lowest was 83/55 and that it was nothing to worry about. I'll admit it, I lied but by morning the worst was over and it wasn't anything to worry about then. There was no need to upset everyone at that point. The truth is I was pretty worried about it, I didn't get a single minute of sleep. He was in and out that night and every time he woke up he asked me what happpened, did they do the partial?, everything go alright?, did they get it all?, where's my water? I answered all his questions (about 15 times....lol) but I didn't tell him it was cancer until I knew he would remember it. I was really concerned about his BP. They turned the epidural off at about 5a that morning thinking that would stabilize his BP, it did!! That of course caused other problems with pain control, but that's a story for another time.


So 12 wks ago, I was trying to sleep in two very uncomfortable chairs at the foot of my husband's hospital bed praying his BP would stabilize and everything would be ok. And tonight I'm sleeping in my own bed with my husband next to me (albeit on the wrong side of the bed, again a story for another time) knowing that tomorrow he will be one day closer to a full recovery.

Strange Connection

Ever since Wayne was diagnosed I feel this strange connection to anyone who has cancer. Specifically those who have lost their battle. I felt an overwhelming sadness when I heard that Farrah Fawcett died yesterday.

It's almost as if a little piece of hope dies with each person who dies of cancer. After thinking about it all day I realized that with each battle lost, we are hopefully learning something that will help the next person win their battle.

The thing that really bothers me is that about five hours after Farrah lost her brave and courageous fight Michael Jackson died and it seemed as though Farrah's death was forgotten. I'm not saying that Farrah was any more important than Michael but I believe that something good has to come out of something bad. The something good in this situation should have been bringing much needed awareness to cancer, specifically the anal cancer that took her life.

Instead it appears that controversial and wacky are more interesting to every single news outlet than a valiant three year battle with a disease that take the lives of approx. 1500 people every day. These people are mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, husbands, wives who deserve the attention this should have brought.

Farrah was a notoriously private person but opened herself up to a documentary recently to bring attention to this terrible disease and the inequalities of the health care system.

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett (1947-2009)

Worth the Wait......Not so Much

Right after Wayne was diagnosed in March I started googling kidney cancer, most of the stuff I found I choose not to think about. But I also found this shirt that I wanted. It's a white tank top that says "I wear Orange for my husband" and has the orange ribbon on it. I didn't want to spend $30 on a shirt so I've been putting it off. I finally ordered it Friday and received it today. I was so excited and opened the package right away. Kind of disappointing, the material was not what I expected, the screen print appears to be a little faded and too low on the shirt. I tried it on thinking that it might look better on.....um.....no.....I ordered a size larger than I normally would because they said it fit tight, but the letters still look stretched out and you can't even see the last line because it's right under my chest.

Wayne says it looks good, but that's probably because it's so tight and it looks like I'm wearing a giant Kidney Cancer billboard on my chest. All that's missing is flashing neon lights. I think it gives Kidney Cancer a bad name........that's a weird sentence, huh?

Anyway, I'm keeping it because I don't want to pay to ship it back. It will be good for a laugh at least...

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

When I was in town the other day, one of the stops I had to make was to Hobby Lobby, a craft store. Even though I went in there for something specific, I had to look around the entire store first (I think it's a law). That is when I found one of my favorite things in the world........Christmas stuff.

Now most of you probably find that incredibly depressing and entirely too early. I, on the other hand, was skipping through the aisles. I'm totally not kidding. I absolutely LOVE Christmas.........all things Christmas. I'm a little crazy about decorating my tree and house, I put a lot of time into deciding what colors/theme I'll use and change it every other year. I love baking cookies and breads, especially the way the whole house smells like cinnamon. We used to bake cookies with my Grandma every Christmas, so I always think about her when I'm baking. I really enjoy shopping for gifts, I usually start "making my list" in early November so I'm ready to go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I get most of my shopping done then go home and watch a sappy Christmas movie (LOVE them, always a happy ending) and wrap all the gifts. I like to make my own Christmas cards and I even found a radio station that plays only Christmas music from Nov 'til New Year's Day! It doesn't get much better than that!

OK, I have to go make some Christmas cards now and watch a goofy Christmas movie......

Melissa's Rules of the Road

Anyone who knows me or has ever ridden with me just wet themselves at the notion of me giving driving advice. But here's the deal...

I've had a terrible headache since Thursday morning that I just can't get rid of. My eyes feel very heavy, my neck hurts, my head is pounding and I'm nauseous most of the time. So sue me if I'm a little irritable. While driving almost an hour and a half today to go dress shopping with Anna I realized how many pet peeves I have, most of which revolve around driving. So here are my rules of the road........

1. Don't drive under the speed limit in the left lane.....for any reason. Remember those signs stating "slower vehicles keep right", that means you too (yes Mom, even you)!! Maybe part of the driver's test should be making sure you know your left from your right. If you're confused right now let me help you out........Your right hand is the one you hit your husband with when you're driving. Your left hand is the one you hit him with when he's driving (and you're in the passenger seat).

2. Semi trucks should not be able to pass each other. There's nothing more irritating than being stuck behind two semis that are going the exact same speed. Are they aware that other people are on this road too?

3. Oversize or Wide Loads requiring the road to be blocked and traffic stopped should be restricted to non-peak days and times. Today, at 3p on a Saturday on the busiest interstate in Iowa, traffic was blocked for more than 15 minutes so that some semis carrying parts of a wind turbine could enter the truck stop. The cars at the truck stop were backed up in the parking lot and wound around the building, and they were backed up in both directions on the road. Then after the trucks were safely parked, the guy that stopped traffic just got in his truck and left. He didn't even help get traffic flowing freely again. I sat in the parking lot for 7 minutes after the trucks went through.

4. If you don't intend to use your turn signals, please put a bumper sticker over your taillights that reads "I'm going to pull over in front of you without using my turn signal then I'm going to flip you off when you honk your horn to let me know I'm about to hit you". At least then I'll know you're not going to signal and I'll be prepared.

5. When you see someone entering the interstate, it is customary to pull over, slow down or speed up. Actually you can do anything except act like you're blind and you really don't see me coming at you at 75 mph!!!!!

6. Don't pull out in front of someone if you're just going to turn left (see #1 for explanation) in half a block. It's just plain rude.

7. Just because there usually aren't speed limit signs in parking lots, does not mean that you should go 75 mph through Wal-Mart parking lot with pedestrians bouncing off your car like ping pong balls. Yes, I'm talking to you, yes you, with the shopping cart attached to your front bumper, the walker embedded in your passenger door, the grocery sack on the roof and the 5lbs of potatoes rolling down your windshield and onto the hood.

8. Unless otherwise posted, you CAN turn right on red.

9. If you remember where you were when Lincoln was shot, you should NOT still be driving!!

Drive safely.

A New Normal

For months now I've been waiting for something to happen and then our lives would be back to "normal". You would think that our past experiences would have prepared me for the disappointment to come. First it was Wayne's surgery, I foolishly thought that once the surgery was over our lives would return to "normal" (like we coould possibly forget the cancer was ever there and go on living our lives like nothing happened). After the surgery when things were crazier than ever, I thought after he gets back to work everything will get back to "normal". I was bummed last week when he went back to work and things didn't get back to "normal". Did someone forget to flip the switch? Who's job was that? I'm already taking out the trash and mowing the lawn, now I have to flip the switch?!? Where is the freakin' switch anyway?

Then yesterday Wayne had severe pain at the surgery site. Truth be told, I was giving him the ole "it's gonna hurt sometimes, just suck it up" speech when he suddenly jumped out of the recliner and ran toward the bathroom like he was on fire. I haven't seen him move that fast in a couple months (9 wks to be exact) so I knew something was wrong. He had started vomiting. It was at that moment, when vomit threw me into complete panic mode, that it hit me. This is our new normal. We are going to be on edge, Kidney Cancer will always be in the back of our mind and the mere mention of symptoms out of the ordinary will send us running to the phone to call the Dr. And that's ok. He's still here, relatively healthy and that's all that matters.

By the way, the Dr. said it is sometimes normal for patients to have severe pain several months after surgery. He did afterall have major surgery, the kidney has to heal as well as the muscles. He even called back this morning to make sure everything is alright. If I haven't said it before, Dr. Joudi is awesome!! We're very lucky to have found him.

Today's Lesson

Everyone's heard the old adage "you learn something new everyday". Well I generally learn something I should have already known. Which brings me to today's lesson.

When trying to fix a spray bottle make sure the nozzle is not pointed at your face.

Several months ago when I first started selling BeautiControl, someone told me to put the toner from the acne skincare line in a spray bottle and spray it on your back and upper arms in case of a breakout. I did and it worked beautifully until my spray bottle became clogged because the toner has benzoyl peroxide and talcum powder in it. Because I didn't want to mess with it I just bought a new one a couple months ago. Well I needed a spray bottle for water today so I decided to perform surgery on the old one to see if I could get it working again.

First I filled the bottle with hot soapy water, thinking that would loosen up the powder.....didn't work. Then I soaked the nozzle in hot soapy water and poked a needle in it to unclog it....still nothing. I then took the entire thing apart (I had no idea there were that many parts for a spray bottle) and ran hot water through it. After each time I would try to spray into the sink and nothing. This time however I decided to spray into my face (!?). You guessed it....it worked! So there I am standing over the very wet bathroom sink with hot, soapy water with a tinge of benzoyl peroxide and talcum powder all over my face and in my eyes. Not pretty but successful nonetheless.

Happy Mid-Year

I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. And now that the surgery is over and Wayne is back to work I've decided it's time to start over.


So my Mid-Year Resolutions.....

1. Start this blog and update it at least once a week

2. Get back on my exercise and nutrition plan

3. Start running again

4. Hold 4 BeautiControl spas a month